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If You Need Permission For Self-Care, Here It Is

Updated: Jul 11, 2022

I’m reaching out to those of you who don’t have time for self-care.

To those of you who are busy looking after others and never taking time for yourself.

I’m reaching out to those of you who are looking to keep all the plates spinning.

Who are needing to feel in control… All. The. Time.

I’m reaching out to those who don’t feel they can take a moment out for themselves because they might never catch up.

That feel that they need to be the ones to fix everything.

I’m reaching out to those of you whose nervous system feels wired at the prospect of delegating your responsibilities.

Because to think of yourself doesn’t feel safe.

I’m reaching out to those of you who worry that taking time out for yourself, you worry that others won’t feel loved.

That you remember yourself the feeling of being abandoned and you don’t want that for those you care for - ever.

I’m reaching out to those of you who learnt to self-abandon, it’s a trauma response.

And it’s OK to feel that, it was a coping mechanism you created to keep you safe.

I’m reaching out to those of you who put others first all the time.

To feel loved, safe and belonging, you needed to denounce your own needs in favour of everyone else’s.

I see you.

I witness the turmoil.

The fear of stepping forward.

Of making a change.

The fear of it all collapsing.

The fear that others might feel what you do.

I see you.

I see you need permission for self-care.

To be shown that you’ll be loved and safe and still belong.

This message is to you…

I give you permission.

You are safe.

You are loved.

You do belong.

Carla Crivaro is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, she works with men and women internationally to reach their goals in delicious sex, profound love and authentic relationships. Carla helps men and women understand themselves and each other, sexually and relationally, in and out of the bedroom. You can reach her at



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