Updated: Jul 11, 2022
Anxiety has come up again recently speaking to women in circle and in the Facebook group.
So many women being ‘diagnosed’ with anxiety. As though it’s a given. As though that’s the way life is going to be from now on. As though it is part of them forever.
And it isn’t.
Your natural state as a human being is not to be anxious. Your body is always looking to heal. Anxiety is a ‘symptom’ your body is communicating to you that there is a part or parts of you that require healing. Take a cut for example. The body knows what to do, it clots the blood and creates new cells to heal the wound.
It’s the same for our ‘mental health’. Although anxiety isn’t mental. It’s physical. It’s connected to the limbic part of the brain (your emotions) and your emotions are sensations felt in your body. We spend years being told ‘you’re fine’, ‘don’t worry’, ‘don’t get angry it doesn’t look good’, ‘don’t be silly’… Each time your emotion has been suppressed. Stopped. Trapped inside. And what’s building is a pressure cooker. All those unfelt emotions (sensations). Trapped. Not being released. So your heart pounds. The chest feels heavy. The throat restricts. You feel a sense of needing to run away. It’s intense.
Returning to the body and learning to sit with our emotions, even those that can feel dangerous and overwhelming, teaches our body that emotions are safe. We gradually allow the emotion to pass through us and the stress cycle is completed. Gradually, our body is able to learn that emotions aren’t dangerous, they can be intense, but they will pass.
We are disconnected from the body. We have learnt to ignore it, to not listen to it. To not trust it. And what I bring into the women’s circles is an opportunity to reconnect to the body. To trust it. So that you can begin to reconnect to the sensations again without the fear. So you can go through the stress cycle and complete it knowing that you will be safe during the process and that it will end.
You aren’t your anxiety.
And your anxiety isn’t you.
Do you experience anxiety?
What emotions do you find difficult to express? (Anger, worry, shame, disgust…)
Do you have intrusive thoughts that can trigger your anxiety?
What have you done to try and work through your anxiety?
Let me know in the comments.
If this post resonated for you and you want to read more about anxiety, search within the blog ‘anxiety’ and you will see posts about my own personal journey healing from anxiety that would have me cancelling plans last minute because I felt I couldn’t cope.
Carla Crivaro is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, she works with men and women internationally to reach their goals in delicious sex, profound love and authentic relationships. Carla helps men and women understand themselves and each other, sexually and relationally, in and out of the bedroom. You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org.