For years I suffered with anxiety and it was a daily battle trying to get away from my body. It wasn’t safe. The sensations that arose were terrifying. I was in constant fight/flight and everything just flashed danger.
I didn’t trust my body. How it felt. What it could do. I’ve always been a little clumsy tripping over myself or breaking a glass when putting it away.
This year has been different. This year, while finishing my training to be a Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, the practices, the meditations, the coaching (giving and receiving) has been somatic (related to the body).
I have learnt to connect to sensations that arise internally. I have learnt to listen to its wisdom when I have not felt safe in a situation or with a person.
2 years ago climbing a tree or climbing up a hill over rocks would have given me heart palpitations and a near on anxiety attack. After seeing my 4 and 7 year old scaling at pace and with so much confidence the rocky hillside, I decided to join them. At the top.
When I got there I could feel the familiar tingling of fear. And rather than allowing it to push me into a state of fight/flight, I decided to connect with the sensations. I recognised them for what they were and I didn’t try to escape them. They soon passed and I regained my confidence looking down the hill below.
Who would have thought that a year of connecting to my sexuality at a somatic level would have supported me in climbing hills? We never really know where our growth and learning will take us. Surrendering to the unknown can bring us to our biggest leaps in our evolution.
Carla Crivaro is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, she works with men and women internationally to reach their goals in delicious sex, profound love and authentic relationships. Carla helps men and women understand themselves and each other, sexually and relationally, in and out of the bedroom. You can reach her at hello@carlacrivaro.com.