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Dark Night Of The Soul

Updated: Jul 11, 2022

Positive affirmations and a positive mindset.

Important? In my opinion yes.

The only thing you need to heal?

Honestly? I can’t think you can heal just from showering yourself in positivity.

Life has some really great moments and also… well… if we’re going to be honest… some pretty shit moments too.

So when something happens in your life that is upsetting, the answer isn’t to leap straight in with a chin up.

Trying to be positive all the time when you aren’t feeling that is exhausting.

Have you been in a situation at work or when you were younger, at school and behave in a way that wasn’t true to how you were feeling? There is so much energy taken up that by the time you get home you are overwhelmed.

And it’s this that I’m talking about.

The hiding and escaping from difficult emotions. Creating a barrier or wall of positivity.

The problem is with suppressing it all, it will eventually come out to meet you.

Have you heard of the dark night of the soul?

When your life reaches a limit where you just can’t take the pretence anymore and you realise the life you’ve been living is not the one you’ve been experiencing internally.

All of those emotions have been trapped, suppressed, suffocated for so long. It’s like a pressure cooker, and BOOM, they burst. Right at a point in your life which is quite dramatic. Like a breakdown - it could be emotional, physical, spiritual. But your body and mind say ‘no more’.

For many of us this is when we choose to take the healing path. When the pan lid blows, when we experience the dark night of the soul. This is where we arrive at the crossroads and choose. We choose to step into the dark. To make it visible. So that by embracing the dark we are also able to return to the light.

Carla Crivaro is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, she works with men and women internationally to reach their goals in delicious sex, profound love and authentic relationships. Carla helps men and women understand themselves and each other, sexually and relationally, in and out of the bedroom. You can reach her at


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