Self-pleasure is a portal to your own healing.
It can be meditative.
A gateway to conscious awareness of your body, mental state and emotional state.
It isn’t just about 0rgasms.
It’s about being present.
Connecting to the 5 senses.
To bring ourselves into the body so we can be more in the here and now.
Savouring every touch, sound, sight, smell, taste.
Tickling and licking all parts of our senses.
So many of us are disconnected from feeling what is happening in and to our bodies. Men lose erections or can’t get them unless they are in their heads fantasising or requiring vigorous stimulation.
Women are struggling to reach 0rgasm because they aren’t giving themselves time to warm up and build their arousal so that their pussy can open.
Both are feeling the pressure to perform. To reach the expected ‘goal’ of climax. Not just for themselves. But so that by getting there, their partner feels ‘good enough’. Confirming to their partner that they are a good lover.
So this means we come completely out of the body and into the head. Creating a ritual space with the 5 senses returns our nervous system to understand that right here, right now, we are focussing on pleasure alone.
Creating a ritual space is communicating to the nervous system that the space that we are entering into is sacred, special and is to be honoured. (Link to Scientific American which talks about the importance of rituals.)
Creating an intention for my self-pleasure practice speaks to my body of the importance of the practice that I am about to undertake.
The sacredness of it.
It engages my body completely.
And by doing so, my whole body becomes a source of delicious pleasure.
5 senses ideas: Sight - petals and candles, tidy and clean room Sound - music, affirmations Taste - chocolate or sweet fruit Smell - scented candles, food Touch - soft blanket, moisturised skin, special underwear
(You can see the set up of the space on Instagram @the.sexuality.sanctuary or via this link here.)
Carla Crivaro is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, she works with men and women internationally to reach their goals in delicious sex, profound love and authentic relationships. Carla helps men and women understand themselves and each other, sexually and relationally, in and out of the bedroom. You can reach her at hello@carlacrivaro.com.