Updated: Jul 11
Your feelings aren’t in your head. They’re in your body.
You know and have been told: Don’t worry about the things you can’t control.
Don’t spend time with people who aren’t good for you.
Don’t hold yourself back.
Don’t put yourself down.
You’ve heard this before haven’t you?
This is why you’re here.
You know you need to think positive.
You know that you need a good mindset.
You know that you need to speak to yourself in a kind way.
You know what to do.
You’ve probably been told how to do it by some people too I imagine.
So what’s stopping you? What’s holding you back?
Your mind is repeating the affirmations. You are constantly trying to ‘correct’ yourself. To be kind.
But somehow, you just aren’t able to actually make it happen. And you slip back into old patterns.
‘I believe the new affirmations… I want to believe what I’m telling myself… I think the affirmations are true… I hope other people see those qualities in me… This is what I would like to see in myself…. Can I really believe this?… I’m not sure this will ever be me… This isn’t me… I will never change…
The doubt sets in.
The affirmation starts off with conviction, but gradually, with time, it loses its power. There is always something that seems to be holding you back.
And you slip back… to the old ways…the familiar ways.
What I want to know is…
Are you FEELING it?
When you say it, does your body respond with a ‘yes’?
When you say it, does it feel comfortable?
Or is there hesitancy? Numbness? A weight? A heaviness? Resistance somewhere?
Until your body believes your affirmations, those affirmations won’t manifest.
To change how you respond, it isn’t enough to just think it.
Your body needs to believe it too.
So what are you feeling?
What are the sensations?
Where are they placed?
Learning to connect with these emotions in you is the start. Once you learn what the emotions represent, what the stories are, you can then rewire them.
Rewiring is creating new sensations in the body to the new narrative, the new story.
And then that’s when your life begins to change.
Carla Crivaro is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, she works with men and women internationally to reach their goals in delicious sex, profound love and authentic relationships. Carla helps men and women understand themselves and each other, sexually and relationally, in and out of the bedroom. You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org.