Updated: Jul 11, 2022
I’m finding in my coaching that the women who work with me are struggling to have desires.
It’s a common theme I’m experiencing. They come to me to work on something and make it better, but they are working on escaping a pain rather than looking to bring into their lives something that brings them joy.
The coaching method I use is desire based. I invite you to imagine and really connect to all of your 5 senses a reality that excites you. That you would desire to live. I work with the body and for it to get on board and believe the reality you want to create for it, it needs to be able to experience it.
But when I ask women what they want, they are wanting things that would make their partner happy.
They are wanting things for their children or clients or friends.
They are wanting things that they already have.
They are wanting things and then saying to themselves is it really that important? I am so lucky. They talk themselves out of it.
They fear wanting because it’s ‘selfish’.
They fear fully allowing their imagination to run wild.
They fear desiring something and not getting it.
They fear having to make changes and potentially leave something or someone behind.
There is resistance to the wanting.
When we fail to connect to our desires we are failing to connect to who we are at our core.
We are failing to connect to a world that we could bring into being if we worked through our blockages.
Failing to desire is a limitation to our own potential.
We have been conditioned to always put others first. To not speak our mind because it is unsafe. To not place boundaries because we may lose love. To keep ourselves in a situation of lack so that we fit in with the people we surround ourselves with and belong.
My invitation to you is to begin dreaming.
How could you imagine YOUR best life being?
What would it look like to create a life for YOU that filled YOU up?
What could be the most unapologetic life that you could create that would have you tingling throughout your body just thinking about it?
If you could want something for yourself, if you could experience emotions and feelings that would light you up, what would they be?
What do you desire?
Carla Crivaro is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, she works with men and women internationally to reach their goals in delicious sex, profound love and authentic relationships. Carla helps men and women understand themselves and each other, sexually and relationally, in and out of the bedroom. You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org.