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Working Through Anxious Attachment Somatically

Updated: Jul 11, 2022

Anxious attachment is when you have an insecure attachment style in relationships.

It often comes from a childhood where attention from a caregiver was sporadic so your emotional needs were not always met consistently.

Anxious attachment can manifest in romantic relationships, but also in relationships with friends, work colleagues and family. Sometimes you can have a secure attachment to a partner but anxiously attached to friends, or vice versa.

Very often anxious attachment is our inner-child looking to get needs met that weren’t in childhood. Inner child work is extremely supportive in working towards a secure attachment.

Anxious attachment can look like:

  • Chasing someone for attention

  • Worrying that someone doesn’t like you

  • Obsessing over whether or not you upset someone

  • Not having boundaries and trying desperately to people everyone

  • Wanting to be liked

Risks of not working through anxious attachment:

  • People pleaser

  • More likely to be in relationships with people who display controlling behaviour or gaslighting

  • Self-abandoning

  • Feeling overwhelmed

  • Having a ‘victim’ mentality

Carla Crivaro is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, she works with men and women internationally to reach their goals in delicious sex, profound love and authentic relationships. Carla helps men and women understand themselves and each other, sexually and relationally, in and out of the bedroom. You can reach her at


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