Inner peace! Isn’t that what, in some way, we’re all searching for? To feel better about ourselves. To react to situations in a mature way. To stop stories which are holding us back from love, relationships, career or any other aspect of our lives.
We know that bad things are going to happen and inner-peace isn't stopping that. It isn't even stopping feeling angry or sad or those 'low vibration emotions'. It's about returning to a regulated state quickly and not projecting our emotions onto others.
To get there does require some effort. Looking at various aspects of our lives and becoming more conscious to them is the first step. I'll admit, and put a huge disclaimer out there, I'm not yet enlightened! If you know me though, you will already be well aware of this. It's a journey. A process.
And once you get started you see a complete difference in:
What conversations you get caught up in
Who you spend time with
How you react to people's less desirable behaviour
How you view life as not something that happens to you
Saying no to things that don't feel good for you (without guilt)
How you react to your emotions and those of others (especially children if you have them!)
Your self-esteem
Not needing to be in control of everything and in more of a state of flow
I created this funnel to show the main elements that need to go in...
Emotion recognition
I found Hilary Jacobs Hendel work on Instagram purely by accident. When reading through her various posts, I began to understand that I seemed to only feel one ‘emotion’ - anxiety. Anxiety however isn’t a core emotion and it showed up for me when I wasn’t distinguishing between what was fear and what was anger.
Self-care
Setting boundaries, a hobby, journaling, gratitude list, movement, eating well, etc Taking care of our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being and knowing that we deserve it, that we are worth it is important to feeling self-love for yourself.
Self-acceptance (and self-love)
Accept all of you. All of it. The sooner you accept yourself, the easier it will be to love yourself. Accepting how your emotions are a part of you, loving the shadow side of your nature… it all helps to harness a deep connection to self and everything that arises.
Shadow work
Uncovering the repressed, uncomfortable, tabooed, and primal aspects of ourselves, understanding their origins and recognising them when they comes up will help break patterns which are keeping us stuck
Inner-child work
Inside of you is a small child whose needs were not met by their caregivers. Sometimes these needs become so strong that you allow your inner-child to wreak havoc in your life as it strives to get those needs met.
Ego work
Your ego is your protector. It predicts what it is going to happen and how it will happen. It communicates in stories in anticipation of a future event or analysing a past event. Whatever the timeline, the story is the same, keeping you in the same patterns.
Somatic work
Is working with the body. Listening to it. Being in tune with its needs. The body is linked to the primal part of our brain and trauma can become trapped inside us if we don’t learn how to encourage its release from the body.
Get closer to inner-peace.
Carla Crivaro is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, she works with men and women internationally to reach their goals in delicious sex, profound love and authentic relationships. Carla helps men and women understand themselves and each other, sexually and relationally, in and out of the bedroom. You can reach her at hello@carlacrivaro.com.