So you’ve had a date or two and your love interest seems keen. You’ve wowed them with your charm, funny stories and showed how interested you are in them.
The next step is inviting them to your home. Your home is a reflection of you, of how you show up in life and how you might potentially show up in your relationship.
If you’re a man, having a messy home is going to leave a woman feeling she may have to step into a ‘mothering’ role. If you’re a woman, a man could definitely feel grossed out by your unclean habits.
So here are some tips and tricks in preparation….
Ensure the house itself is presentable
Of course if you’re renovating then let the person know beforehand so they know to expect that things are going to be out of place. However if you own your own place and it’s looking run down, it may be an idea to give it a lick of paint and maybe change the curtains from 1970. I’m not saying a huge make over is necessary to do before one specific date, but keeping on top of making the place look cosy and inviting will mean the person will want to come back again.
Clean the house!
Here’s a checklist to get you started…
Take out the bins, so the house doesn’t smell
Take anything rotten out of your fridge
Clean the streak marks out of your toilet bowl. We know that everyone has a bowel movement, but you don’t have to prove it to us.
Clean your bathroom - mould and grime aren’t glamorous
Vacuum
Get rid of clutter. If you have piles of stuff, hide it in your wardrobe or somewhere out of sight.
Get the dust cloth out and wipe over the surfaces
Remove anything from past relationships
If you have anything lying around that is from a past relationship that may feel uncomfortable to explain, it’s best to move it out of sight or get rid of it. Checking in why you still have that item lying around. I’m not referring to if they bought you a TV, but a photo of the two of you, a letter, a cute card… these things are likely going to make the other person question if you have really moved on.
Have beverages, snacks and a respectable fridge
Ensure the fridge is presentable and that there isn’t a science experiment going on in there. Having some food and drink that you can offer too is really important so that if they stay over you’re prepared for the next day and not having to rush out to buy things from the shop.
Roommates
If you share your house with other people check what they will be doing and what the agreement is. You don’t want to be on the sofa cuddling with your date and your roommate sat across from you watching. Likewise if your roommate is a pet, check first how the other person feels about pets and ensure that your furry friend is respectful to the date. If you know they have a tendency to hump the leg of new visitors, don’t leave your date in an uncomfortable position alone with them while you nip to the toilet.
Prepare for a potential stay over (but don’t expect it!)
This includes things like clean towels for a shower, a throwaway toothbrush and toothpaste. Other supplies also include condoms if you’re expecting to get intimate - you don’t want to get to the point of no-return and find yourself rushing off to the shops.
Prepping your house for a date involves making it look as presentable as possible. The number one thing you can do to make your bedroom look cleaner and more organised and make your bed.
You want to look responsible and like you have it together!
And if you haven’t got it together - maybe now is a good time to find a way!
Carla Crivaro is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, she works with men and women internationally to reach their goals in delicious sex, profound love and authentic relationships. Carla helps men and women understand themselves and each other, sexually and relationally, in and out of the bedroom. You can reach her at hello@carlacrivaro.com.
Other resources which are supportive around this topic are: