I see it often in my practice. Women holding it in. Bracing. Staying quiet. Being the ‘good girl’.
Biting their tongue. Smiling sweetly. Managing everyone else's emotions. Shrinking themselves to feel safe.
The result?
A tight jaw from biting back the words that weren’t safe to speak.
Tension in the pelvic floor from bracing and holding in emotion.
Unexplained exhaustion from the energy expenditure of keeping a lid on feelings.
The shut down, contraction and shrinking to fit in.
The managing of everyone else’s emotions around you in a bid to control the external environment with the intention of wanting to feel safe.
Because previously the narrative was on ‘her’:
‘What she didn’t do’
‘What she should’t have worn’
‘What she should have said’
‘How she should behave’
The victim-blaming.
By labelling us…
Too much
Too difficult
Too sensitive
A troublemaker
Emotional
Drama queen
From this we were taught silence.
This retreat is to bring trust into the body to speak up and to feel.
In recent months, the Epstein files, the Manosphere documentary and the continued exposure of rape culture have brought a lot to the surface for women.
For many women, these stories haven't been shocking. They've been validating. Because what women have known in their bones for years is finally being spoken about publicly. And so they find rising to the surface…
The anger.
The rage.
The grief.
The disgust.
The fear.
This isn’t about avoiding…
This is about completion
The words left unsaid
The emotions left unfelt
The experience left unacknowledged
The reality left invalidated
There may be a part of you saying…
"I don't want to go there."
"I don't want to feel it."
But the thing is, not feeling it doesn't make it disappear.
Just because you choose not to acknowledge your anger, hurt, grief or resentment doesn't mean it isn't there.
It's there, underneath the surface, running your nervous system.
And this isn't about blaming all men.
It's not about men-bashing.
It's not about staying stuck in victimhood.
It's about being honest about your experience.
Because if there is anger, fear, resentment, disgust or grief that hasn't been felt, it will show up somewhere.
It will show up in the men you choose.
In the red flags you ignore.
In the good men you struggle to trust.
In the boundaries you don't set.
In the things you ask for (or don't).
In the amount of safety you feel in relationships.
In your ability to hear and trust your intuition.
Freedom doesn’t come by pretending you're OK.
You become free by feeling what is there, acknowledging it and allowing it to move through you. You get to start relating to men from the present, not your past.
And, healing doesn't happen in isolation.
It happens when we're witnessed.
When we're believed.
When we're held.
When we realise we're not alone.
Together, Carla and Frances will guide you through a day of emotional release, embodiment, connection and integration.
A space to honour your experience.
A space to reclaim your voice.
A space to set yourself free.
Who this is for:
This retreat is for women who:
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Are carrying anger, hurt, grief or resentment connected to men or past relationships
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Have experienced abuse, assault, harassment, betrayal or violation
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Struggle to speak up, set boundaries or trust themselves
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Tend to people-please, fawn or put everyone else's needs before their own
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Feel exhausted from carrying emotions they've never had space to express
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Want to stop projecting the past into present relationships
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Want to feel safer, stronger and more connected to themselves​
What will happen:
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Opening sharing circle (share as much or as little as feels right)
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Gentle somatic practices to safely connect with emotion
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Guided processes to complete the stress cycle
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Space to express what was never said and acknowledge what was never validated
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Embodiment practices to reconnect with your healthy "no" and your powerful "yes"
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Nourishing integration practices to leave grounded and resourced
You'll leave feeling:
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Lighter
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A sense of freedom and openness in the body
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More connected to yourself
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Less burdened by the past
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More confident speaking up for yourself
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Clearer on your boundaries
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Better able to trust your intuition
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More able to recognise safe people and safe relationships
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Deeply validated in your experience
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Supported by a community of women who understand
Meet Your Hostesses
Carla Crivaro
Carla Crivaro is a certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach and a Men’s Sexuality & Masculinity Coach.
Carla works internationally with women, men and couples to empower them from bedroom to boardroom - to speak up and embody their deepest desires, to build deep and authentic relationships and to attain the relational and sexual life they desire.
Carla holds women’s circles, is a speaker, a media commentator and runs events and retreats to inspire, empower and educate on topics related to sex, healthy masculinity, female empowerment and outside the box relationship dynamics and communication.
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Carla’s relationship with men hasn’t always been smooth sailing. As a self-proclaimed ‘anti-man feminist’ in her late teens and early 20s to a men’s advocate in women’s spaces, Carla’s journey and evolution in her relationship to men has been a rocky one to say the least. Carla now takes her own personal learnings and experiences to engage men in their own self-development and to support women to have better relationships with the men in their lives.
Watch my talk ‘Men are not the Enemy’ from The Sex Lectures to hear more about my journey.
Frances Goodall
Frances Goodall is chronic fatigue recovery specialist, birthkeeper and pleasure advocate. She co-founded The Women’s Wellness Circle which ran for 10 years offering women circles to support healing chronic illness, and she works as a coach, therapist and trainer. She is also a mother of two boys and the author of ‘You Can Heal Chronic Illness: The Lotus Process, 8 Steps to Health and Happiness’.
Over five years, she went from house-bound with chronic fatigue to running half marathons and she’s since spent nearly two decades dedicating her life to supporting 1000s of women to recover their health from CFS and related conditions.
Frances has been on her own deep healing journey around finding safety with men growing up in a family system with a somewhat absent father and a wider system that included sexual abuse, and she has felt the pain of growing up in a patriarchal society. Frances has been in the field of personal growth for 25 years. She is most passionate about helping you move from illness, pain, burnout, trauma or anxiety, to full thriving, joy and pleasure.
Further Reading
Unravelling from patriarchy, the fawn response, the self-abandoning, the sisterhood wounds, the ​external validation seeking from men and releasing past infringements on my space and my body has been a learning process that I share openly in my content. You can read more about it here and get a greater flavour of my desire for women, for myself and for our relationships with men.